


Easy

by thisiswherethefishlives



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Frenemies with Benefits, M/M, Nothing is easy when it comes to Kylo Ren, Poor Hux
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 19:23:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6207400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisiswherethefishlives/pseuds/thisiswherethefishlives
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They fell into it naturally between drills and raids and stony silences. It was easy. A sharp word and a cold gaze would give way slowly then all at once to a burning that could only be snuffed by the other.</p>
<p>They fell into bed like they fought. Like an inevitability. Like a punch to the gut. Like a promise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They fell into it naturally between drills and raids and stony silences. It was easy. A sharp word and a cold gaze would give way slowly then all at once to a burning that could only be snuffed by the other.

They fell into bed like they fought. Like an inevitability. Like a punch to the gut. Like a promise.

They fucked - long fingers set against black hair, wrapped around thin wrists, or pressed deep and cruel where no-one else had been.

They fucked often and hard - moments snatched in corridors and closets and pressed against walls.

They fucked to a chorus of silence that wavered between ambivalence and need.

It wasn’t something to discuss.

It wasn’t gentle or loving or kind. It wasn’t something to be proud of, or covetous of, or dependant of. It was nothing beyond what it was, and what it was… well, they fucked. Nothing more.

But… then there’s blood on the ground and blood on their skin and a scream lodged in Hux’s throat as he takes in the destruction around them. He takes in the gash on Kylo’s face and the deathly palor of his skin where it’s stretched so tight.

It’s only as everything he’s worked towards crumbles at his feet that Hux realizes how much more they could have had.

It could have been easy.


	2. Chapter 2

In the aftermath of the end of everything, Hux takes a look at himself and he finds himself looking for answers. He questions his rank, he questions his faith, and he questions his life. He questions everything but the man at his side - silent and sleeping and still.

Ren is under for three days.

He is pale. So, so pale, and it would be easy for Hux to touch that fair, fair skin. He’s touched it before. Bruised it. Kissed praise and curse alike into that skin. It would be easy now to do the same, but he can’t.

He can’t make himself touch Ren any more than he can leave his side.

On the fourth day, Ren wakes, and that’s when Hux stops asking questions that can never be answered. Instead, he focuses on their next steps, and he waits for Ren to be ready. Of course, that’s when Ren’s questions start to surface.

There’s loathing at first. A clear, unfathomable rage and desperation, because how could a knight of ren fall to a scavenger’s will? It only takes two days before Ren’s free of the med bay, free of the machinery and the droids, and free of the claustrophobia that haunts the damaged.

After the loathing comes regret. Perhaps that isn’t what Ren would call it, but Hux, while never close to his father, cannot fathom being the one to slay his own flesh and blood. More than once, he has witnessed Ren look at his hands - the hands of a killer - hands cloaked in black. There is a stillness now in Ren that wasn’t there before, and Hux can only hope - even as resentment clouds his compassion because he shouldn’t have to waste his time worrying about Ren - that Ren will not buckle under this weight.

Of course, after the regret… well, after the regret comes a need for more. It is only after months have passed that Ren seeks him out.

“You don’t touch me anymore.”

It’s a shockingly straightforward statement, made even more brusque by the mechanical tone of Ren’s voice from under the helmet. That’s another change as of late, the way that Ren has retreated under his helmet as if it will undo the angry slash across his face.

A black-gloved hand comes up to rest heavy on Hux’s neck - a promise and a threat all at once.

“You don’t touch me. Is it that you find me too ugly now, or is it that you find me weak?”

Hux can feel Ren’s fingers tense around his neck, but there’s no fear in his heart for the man in front of him. No, he stopped being afraid of Ren after the first time they fucked, and no matter the depths that Ren chose to sink to, Hux would not fear him again.

Words stuck in his throat, as if Ren’s grip was tight enough to trap them, and Hux can only swallow. It seems, from the way that Ren’s hand falls away, that this was what Ren had expected.

Nothing.

There’s no mark on his neck. Ren’s grip hadn’t been anywhere near hard enough to bruise, but Hux finds himself gasping for air as he watches Kylo Ren sweep away down the hall.

Hux knows that there’s no easy answer for Ren. He knows this as he knows his own truths: his father is Brendol Hux; he is a general of the First Order; he serves Supreme Leader Snoke; and if he were to take a moment to touch Ren’s pale, pale skin the way that he wants to… he would never, ever stop.


End file.
